Finding Rest When You Can't Sleep

“You slept less than recommended and your body didn't recharge well. You may feel more tired today than usual.”

Every morning my fitness tracker gives me the same message.  

“You didn’t sleep well”

“Your sleep was non-restorative”

“Your “body battery” did not recharge enough”

“You may feel more stressed today.”

“You should try to have a restful day to bring down your stress levels.”

That last one is almost commercial… almost.

Three months ago, when I started wearing my Garmin watch, I thought it would help me to dial in my habits, measure where I should put more effort into my workouts, and give me tangible data to show where my hard work was paying off.  

I knew my sleep was an area that needed improvement but I had no idea how bad it actually was.  The combination of caregiving, stress and menopause has my body in a stressed out state, almost 24/7.  And honestly, the data is sometimes more discouraging than helpful.  

And so, this morning's low sleep score was no surprise.  

After a 3am wake up of the Man-Child followed by 2 hours of failed negotiations for more sleep – After meds and meltdowns and bedding issues and 4 showers and lots of pacing or creaky floors, we got up for the day.  As I sat in my chair and sipped my coffee, a thought came to me.

Paul and Silas, after a full day of ministering to the needy and then being beaten for it and bound with chains and thrown into prison…. I wonder what kind of score a fitness tracker would have given them as they laid there, bleeding and unable to sleep. 

And yet, In Acts 16:25 it tells us that at midnight, when no sleep would come, “Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God”

How did they do it?  How did they bypass the exhaustion and pain that wracked their physical bodies and enter into a sweet time of worship?  

The answer is simple, not always easy, but simple…

They walked in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, God with us. They found, in that moment, the separation between body and spirit and accessed a strength that was not found in their physical circumstances. 

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 describe this paradigm perfectly: 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, 

to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; 

perplexed, but not driven to despair; 

persecuted, but not forsaken; 

struck down, but not destroyed; 

As fellow followers of Christ, we possess that same treasure in our cracked, stressed out, not enough sleep, low battery, aging bodies.  

We can rise in the morning after a stressful night, we can keep putting one foot in front of the other, we can pour from an empty cup because we “Can do all things through Christ who gives us strength” Philippians 4:13

And so I put in an earbud and played some worship as I sat in the dark and sipped my coffee.  

I recharged my spirit, even as my body was failing.  While my circumstances didn’t change I found that I was not crushed or in despair.  As the words of truth poured through my mind, I remembered that I am never forsaken.  And like the New Testament Saints, I found that my prison walls came crumbling down.  Not in the physical but the discouragement and stress melted away and I found new mercies and rest for my soul.  

It is a rest that bypasses sleep.  It is a rest that comes even when my body is stressed and my battery depleted.  It is a rest that Jesus is inviting all of us into.

“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28