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Beauty In The Real

“How do you prioritize your marriage?”

A special-needs mom slid this question into my DMs, sharing how her marriage was struggling. My honest reply: “We don’t always.”

Today is our 28th anniversary. Our last date night? Our 27th anniversary. The truth is, our son’s needs often have to come before our relationship.

Is that ideal? No. But it’s reality for many of us living in a daily battle zone with no relief in sight. We slip into “caregiving co-workers,” passing the baton back and forth just to survive and care for everyone else. Conversations get shelved because even talking can trigger a meltdown. Conflicts go unresolved because there’s never a good time to deal with them.

Marriage is hard even in the best circumstances—and we’re not in the best circumstances. So what do we do?

We fix our eyes on something greater than our marriage or even our love for each other.
We cling to God’s promise:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

And friends—we are weak. Our marriage has walked through deep valleys. Our love story is not a fairy tale. It’s required sacrifices we never would have chosen.

But 28 years ago, we made a covenant before God. We said “I do,” and we keep saying it—on the mountains, in the valleys, and in the messy middle. We rely on grace freely given, and we try to pour that same grace on each other. Some days we fail miserably. But we keep trying again.

If this sounds nothing like your life, and you struggle to understand our choices—I’m genuinely glad for you. I’m thankful your path is easier.

But if you do relate… you are my people. I see you. And I pray that God’s power is made perfect in the beautiful, exhausting, holy mess we call life.

#beautyinthereal #autismfamily

“How do you prioritize your marriage?”

A special-needs mom slid this question into my DMs, sharing how her marriage was struggling. My honest reply: “We don’t always.”

Today is our 28th anniversary. Our last date night? Our 27th anniversary. The truth is, our son’s needs often have to come before our relationship.

Is that ideal? No. But it’s reality for many of us living in a daily battle zone with no relief in sight. We slip into “caregiving co-workers,” passing the baton back and forth just to survive and care for everyone else. Conversations get shelved because even talking can trigger a meltdown. Conflicts go unresolved because there’s never a good time to deal with them.

Marriage is hard even in the best circumstances—and we’re not in the best circumstances. So what do we do?

We fix our eyes on something greater than our marriage or even our love for each other.
We cling to God’s promise:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

And friends—we are weak. Our marriage has walked through deep valleys. Our love story is not a fairy tale. It’s required sacrifices we never would have chosen.

But 28 years ago, we made a covenant before God. We said “I do,” and we keep saying it—on the mountains, in the valleys, and in the messy middle. We rely on grace freely given, and we try to pour that same grace on each other. Some days we fail miserably. But we keep trying again.

If this sounds nothing like your life, and you struggle to understand our choices—I’m genuinely glad for you. I’m thankful your path is easier.

But if you do relate… you are my people. I see you. And I pray that God’s power is made perfect in the beautiful, exhausting, holy mess we call life.

#beautyinthereal #autismfamily

Sometimes he gives himself a good Bible Verse pep talk… and other times is more of a practical, real life, immediately applicable kind of self talk 🤣
He said this movie line over and over and over and both his therapist and I were happy that he took his own advice !

#beautyinthereal

Sometimes he gives himself a good Bible Verse pep talk… and other times is more of a practical, real life, immediately applicable kind of self talk 🤣
He said this movie line over and over and over and both his therapist and I were happy that he took his own advice !

#beautyinthereal

Finding a way to fill the days with meaningful activities is one of the greatest challenges we have right now. So when we noticed our neighbor and owner of the Golf Course working near our house, clearing out a year’s worth of pine needles, we went out to see if it would be ok to help.

For the next two hours we raked up the pines and loaded them into the cart to drive them to an area where they could be spread out as ground cover for the winter. We worked and laughed and took 5 hay-ride style runs to the other side of the course.

At the end of it, I am not sure who was more grateful, Our sweet friend who said that we were God’s gift to her today, or this mama who desperately needed her boy to get outside, move his body and experience a tiny piece of community.

I guess we were all blessed!

She has a whole other section that needs the same work done so hoping we can make this a habit!

#beautyinthereal #caregiving

Finding a way to fill the days with meaningful activities is one of the greatest challenges we have right now. So when we noticed our neighbor and owner of the Golf Course working near our house, clearing out a year’s worth of pine needles, we went out to see if it would be ok to help.

For the next two hours we raked up the pines and loaded them into the cart to drive them to an area where they could be spread out as ground cover for the winter. We worked and laughed and took 5 hay-ride style runs to the other side of the course.

At the end of it, I am not sure who was more grateful, Our sweet friend who said that we were God’s gift to her today, or this mama who desperately needed her boy to get outside, move his body and experience a tiny piece of community.

I guess we were all blessed!

She has a whole other section that needs the same work done so hoping we can make this a habit!

#beautyinthereal #caregiving

A clip from our new podcast where I shared a small part of my faith Journey.

Beauty In The Real Podcast is available on Spotify, YouTube & Apple Podcasts.

#beautyinthereal

A clip from our new podcast where I shared a small part of my faith Journey.

Beauty In The Real Podcast is available on Spotify, YouTube & Apple Podcasts.

#beautyinthereal

I know that sometimes God’s plans don’t always feel good to us but we can trust that his promises are true and that in all things and at all time, he is working them out for our good and for the glory of his kingdom.
Thanks Jonah, we all need that reminder sometimes.

#beautyinthereal

I know that sometimes God’s plans don’t always feel good to us but we can trust that his promises are true and that in all things and at all time, he is working them out for our good and for the glory of his kingdom.
Thanks Jonah, we all need that reminder sometimes.

#beautyinthereal

“I’m so glad to live in a world where there are Octobers”
~Anne of Green Gables~

October recap:
Leaves, Lake Cabin cut short, family photos, more leaves, new necklace, new podcast, lots of stress and a few slow moments in between. 💛

#beautyinthereal

“I’m so glad to live in a world where there are Octobers”
~Anne of Green Gables~

October recap:
Leaves, Lake Cabin cut short, family photos, more leaves, new necklace, new podcast, lots of stress and a few slow moments in between. 💛

#beautyinthereal

I love how Jonah gives himself a good Bible pep talk to get him through the chores! Something we can all learn from this amazing young man!

#beautyinthereal #autisticadult

I love how Jonah gives himself a good Bible pep talk to get him through the chores! Something we can all learn from this amazing young man!

#beautyinthereal #autisticadult

This was a Marco Polo to a friend… and I am sharing it here in case it makes even one of you feel less alone. I am slightly embarrassed about how many times I said “hate” 😳 cause I promise I am not a hateful person 😜 but this was the raw moment and how I was feeling. If you can relate, you are my people 😘

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsmom #sometimesautismlookslikethis

This was a Marco Polo to a friend… and I am sharing it here in case it makes even one of you feel less alone. I am slightly embarrassed about how many times I said “hate” 😳 cause I promise I am not a hateful person 😜 but this was the raw moment and how I was feeling. If you can relate, you are my people 😘

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsmom #sometimesautismlookslikethis

That “Middle Age Mom” thing may mean we have some hard earned wisdom but it also means the technical side of podcasting and social media has us at a slight disadvantage 😜
But we are learning ad we go and we hope you will come along for the ride!

We have our first 4 episodes available now on Apple, Spotify & YouTube. (I have a “podcast” highlight bubble with all the links)

I am so blessed and amazed that you all want me to talk MORE 😜 and I am so thankful for my Bestie who agreed to take me from boring monologues to rich conversations.
Love you @honestly_samantha0

That “Middle Age Mom” thing may mean we have some hard earned wisdom but it also means the technical side of podcasting and social media has us at a slight disadvantage 😜
But we are learning ad we go and we hope you will come along for the ride!

We have our first 4 episodes available now on Apple, Spotify & YouTube. (I have a “podcast” highlight bubble with all the links)

I am so blessed and amazed that you all want me to talk MORE 😜 and I am so thankful for my Bestie who agreed to take me from boring monologues to rich conversations.
Love you @honestly_samantha0

Demolition has always been his favorite but the question of whether or not to include him in it has always been a struggle to answer… Do I want him to know that sawing things off of the house is an option? 😳 But his excitement in being involved always wins me over…. I will definitely be hiding this saw when we are done here and save the power tools for when he isn’t around 😜

But getting rid of these little spindly toppers is a win!!! 😍

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsfamily

Demolition has always been his favorite but the question of whether or not to include him in it has always been a struggle to answer… Do I want him to know that sawing things off of the house is an option? 😳 But his excitement in being involved always wins me over…. I will definitely be hiding this saw when we are done here and save the power tools for when he isn’t around 😜

But getting rid of these little spindly toppers is a win!!! 😍

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsfamily

We’ve already had this conversation a dozen times today and then he wanted to make a video of it! 😆

Jonah never slept through the night until he was about 15. And then it the “dark days” (2020-2023) none of us slept much. So much anxiety and destruction would happen in the nighttime hours and it was pretty stressful.

But the last 2 years have been much better and Jonah usually sleeps well. But there are some nights that he doesn’t and we understand that it isn’t his fault and it’s just something we have to work through. I actually love that he thinks it’s funny 😄

I’m off for another round of coffee now 😜
What does sleep look like in your house? 👇🏻

We’ve already had this conversation a dozen times today and then he wanted to make a video of it! 😆

Jonah never slept through the night until he was about 15. And then it the “dark days” (2020-2023) none of us slept much. So much anxiety and destruction would happen in the nighttime hours and it was pretty stressful.

But the last 2 years have been much better and Jonah usually sleeps well. But there are some nights that he doesn’t and we understand that it isn’t his fault and it’s just something we have to work through. I actually love that he thinks it’s funny 😄

I’m off for another round of coffee now 😜
What does sleep look like in your house? 👇🏻

#beautyinthereal

#beautyinthereal

Just going to leave this here 😳

#beautyinthereal

Just going to leave this here 😳

#beautyinthereal

Sometimes autism parenting looks like this.

And if you still live an experience where you have “control” over all your kid’s behaviors and think that if I did it your way then everything would be better… I am sincerely happy for you. I’ve been there and I hope you get to stay there forever. But if things change, let’s talk then. 😘

#beautyinthereal

Sometimes autism parenting looks like this.

And if you still live an experience where you have “control” over all your kid’s behaviors and think that if I did it your way then everything would be better… I am sincerely happy for you. I’ve been there and I hope you get to stay there forever. But if things change, let’s talk then. 😘

#beautyinthereal

“STOP TALKING PLEASE”
It’s a phrase that we hear dozens of times a day and it may be what your kid is thinking, even if they don’t have words to say it.

Jonah isn’t able to elaborate on why conversations are difficult for him to listen to, but there are patterns and we have theories.

It seems that he often has a script running in his brain, sometimes silently and sometimes out loud, but when others talk, it seems to interrupt his thoughts and makes him dysregulated.

We did teach him the importance of asking politely, hence the “please”, and when he does ask, we feel it is important to honor his words when we can. Consequently, we spend a lot of time in silence and that can be hard.

Sometimes we will push back gently and tell him that we need to finish a conversation or exchange information and he is learning a small amount of tolerance but it is a give and take and right now we have to give a lot more than we take.

I try to remember how hard we have all worked for him to have a voice and how frustrating it must be for him to live in a world that is so loud that he can’t hear himself think.

#beautyinthereal #sometimesautismlookslikethis #specialneedsmom #sensoryoverload

“STOP TALKING PLEASE”
It’s a phrase that we hear dozens of times a day and it may be what your kid is thinking, even if they don’t have words to say it.

Jonah isn’t able to elaborate on why conversations are difficult for him to listen to, but there are patterns and we have theories.

It seems that he often has a script running in his brain, sometimes silently and sometimes out loud, but when others talk, it seems to interrupt his thoughts and makes him dysregulated.

We did teach him the importance of asking politely, hence the “please”, and when he does ask, we feel it is important to honor his words when we can. Consequently, we spend a lot of time in silence and that can be hard.

Sometimes we will push back gently and tell him that we need to finish a conversation or exchange information and he is learning a small amount of tolerance but it is a give and take and right now we have to give a lot more than we take.

I try to remember how hard we have all worked for him to have a voice and how frustrating it must be for him to live in a world that is so loud that he can’t hear himself think.

#beautyinthereal #sometimesautismlookslikethis #specialneedsmom #sensoryoverload

Well, his name is Jonah, but otherwise it works 😆

Thanks Siri 😘

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsparenting #autismparents #specialneedsmom #caregivers

Well, his name is Jonah, but otherwise it works 😆

Thanks Siri 😘

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsparenting #autismparents #specialneedsmom #caregivers

Some Bible truth for you today!
#beautyinthereal

Some Bible truth for you today!
#beautyinthereal

He’s our third wheel, our plus one, our forever boy...
Our son Jonah is 23, autistic and will need 24/7 care and supervision for the rest of his life. At the moment there is no day program or support staff to be found that meets his unique needs and so he is with one or both of us at all times.

This week, we rented a lake cabin and the three of us headed off on a little adventure. It was fun until it wasn’t and we came home a day early but not before making this fun reel. We are reminded that 2 things can be true at once... We can love our boy and also wish we had a break.

In 28 years of marriage we have spent a grand total of 4 nights where we left our kids. It may not be everyone’s story but it is ours. If this sounds crazy to you... maybe just take a moment and be thankful that you live a life where this could only be crazy... or satire...

But I do hope it made you laugh, and if you can relate, just know that you are not alone!

#beautyinthereal

He’s our third wheel, our plus one, our forever boy...
Our son Jonah is 23, autistic and will need 24/7 care and supervision for the rest of his life. At the moment there is no day program or support staff to be found that meets his unique needs and so he is with one or both of us at all times.

This week, we rented a lake cabin and the three of us headed off on a little adventure. It was fun until it wasn’t and we came home a day early but not before making this fun reel. We are reminded that 2 things can be true at once... We can love our boy and also wish we had a break.

In 28 years of marriage we have spent a grand total of 4 nights where we left our kids. It may not be everyone’s story but it is ours. If this sounds crazy to you... maybe just take a moment and be thankful that you live a life where this could only be crazy... or satire...

But I do hope it made you laugh, and if you can relate, just know that you are not alone!

#beautyinthereal

#sometimesautismlookslikethis
I keep reminding myself how far we’ve come and how he is so much calmer and happier than he was a few years ago…. While also acknowledging the fast that this is hard! #beautyinthereal

#sometimesautismlookslikethis
I keep reminding myself how far we’ve come and how he is so much calmer and happier than he was a few years ago…. While also acknowledging the fast that this is hard! #beautyinthereal

No man knows the day or the hour but if Jonah could pick, Jesus would be coming back in the summer of 2055.
This is a topic that he thinks about often and likes to talk about… it reminds me that we should all long for Jesus the way that Jonah does and live everyday in eager expectation. #comelordjesus #beautyinthereal

No man knows the day or the hour but if Jonah could pick, Jesus would be coming back in the summer of 2055.
This is a topic that he thinks about often and likes to talk about… it reminds me that we should all long for Jesus the way that Jonah does and live everyday in eager expectation. #comelordjesus #beautyinthereal

Many of you have asked me to explain what “scripting” is for Jonah. This clip should give you a better idea. Sometimes he will do it with an actual video and sometimes just in his head but it is almost always an episode of something that is stuck in his head and it can take him hours to to get through a 20 minute episode. If he gets interrupted he may have to start over from the beginning. If we talk too much or make too much noise while he is scripting he can get very agitated and need to start over. And he can’t just abandon a script in the middle. He must finish it. And the volume can be pretty intense!!! When he has these days where the compulsion to script is strong, it can make for very hard days. But scripting is also how he learned to recite so many Bible verses and I do love that! 😍🥹😳😆😜
#beautyinthereal

Many of you have asked me to explain what “scripting” is for Jonah. This clip should give you a better idea. Sometimes he will do it with an actual video and sometimes just in his head but it is almost always an episode of something that is stuck in his head and it can take him hours to to get through a 20 minute episode. If he gets interrupted he may have to start over from the beginning. If we talk too much or make too much noise while he is scripting he can get very agitated and need to start over. And he can’t just abandon a script in the middle. He must finish it. And the volume can be pretty intense!!! When he has these days where the compulsion to script is strong, it can make for very hard days. But scripting is also how he learned to recite so many Bible verses and I do love that! 😍🥹😳😆😜
#beautyinthereal

21 years ago, my son was diagnosed with severe autism. Since then, our story has carried us through some dark and frightening chapters. Yet in the midst of it all, here’s what I’ve learned:

1️⃣Heartache may undo us for a time, but it also remakes us. It stretches our capacity for love, compassion, and selflessness—and those are treasures worth holding.

2️⃣Two things can be true at once. I can love my son with all my heart, knowing he has immeasurable worth exactly as he is, while also working tirelessly to help him grow, learn, and heal so that he may live the fullest life possible.

3️⃣Philippians 4:7 promises a “peace that surpasses understanding.” I’ve found that peace most often in circumstances I cannot understand. Surrendering the “why” has taught me to trust the God who holds us in His all-powerful hands—the One who works all things together for our good and for the glory of His plan.

Come follow along for faith filled encouragement for your own caregiving journey…. And tell us… what have you learned? 👇🏻

#beautyinthereal

21 years ago, my son was diagnosed with severe autism. Since then, our story has carried us through some dark and frightening chapters. Yet in the midst of it all, here’s what I’ve learned:

1️⃣Heartache may undo us for a time, but it also remakes us. It stretches our capacity for love, compassion, and selflessness—and those are treasures worth holding.

2️⃣Two things can be true at once. I can love my son with all my heart, knowing he has immeasurable worth exactly as he is, while also working tirelessly to help him grow, learn, and heal so that he may live the fullest life possible.

3️⃣Philippians 4:7 promises a “peace that surpasses understanding.” I’ve found that peace most often in circumstances I cannot understand. Surrendering the “why” has taught me to trust the God who holds us in His all-powerful hands—the One who works all things together for our good and for the glory of His plan.

Come follow along for faith filled encouragement for your own caregiving journey…. And tell us… what have you learned? 👇🏻

#beautyinthereal

Health and wellness for the overwhelmed caregiver and how I am navigating that in my own life.

Health and wellness for the overwhelmed caregiver and how I am navigating that in my own life.

September…. And all that that implies 😍
#jesusisontheway 😆

September…. And all that that implies 😍
#jesusisontheway 😆

As a full time caregiver for my adult son… a day out with my other kids is a rare a beautiful dream come true. Saving this one so I can look back and smile whenever I need to. 😍
Also… she thinks my wrinkles are so pretty and that moment will live in my aging heart forever!

#beautyinthereal

As a full time caregiver for my adult son… a day out with my other kids is a rare a beautiful dream come true. Saving this one so I can look back and smile whenever I need to. 😍
Also… she thinks my wrinkles are so pretty and that moment will live in my aging heart forever!

#beautyinthereal

I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotions when AI delivered this finished photo—grown-up me holding little me with love and protection.

When I was a little girl, the song My Father’s Eyes was both my favorite tune and the deepest prayer of my heart. Back then, I had no idea what kind of life experiences it would take to develop that kind of sight. Yet I’m so grateful God planted in that little girl a desire to see the world as He sees.

There are 50 years between these two girls. In that time, we’ve walked through heartbreak and hurt, but also witnessed beauty in the everyday, the real, and even the messy.

Looking at this photo, holding that little girl in my arms, I feel that old prayer rising fresh in me:

I want my Father’s eyes…
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help can’t be found.

Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain,
Knowing what you’re going through
And feeling it the same.

Just like my Father’s eyes.

I am reminded yet again that he is El Roi… the God who sees…. Oh Father, give us all eyes to see as you do.

#beautyinthereal

I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotions when AI delivered this finished photo—grown-up me holding little me with love and protection.

When I was a little girl, the song My Father’s Eyes was both my favorite tune and the deepest prayer of my heart. Back then, I had no idea what kind of life experiences it would take to develop that kind of sight. Yet I’m so grateful God planted in that little girl a desire to see the world as He sees.

There are 50 years between these two girls. In that time, we’ve walked through heartbreak and hurt, but also witnessed beauty in the everyday, the real, and even the messy.

Looking at this photo, holding that little girl in my arms, I feel that old prayer rising fresh in me:

I want my Father’s eyes…
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help can’t be found.

Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain,
Knowing what you’re going through
And feeling it the same.

Just like my Father’s eyes.

I am reminded yet again that he is El Roi… the God who sees…. Oh Father, give us all eyes to see as you do.

#beautyinthereal

A small clip from a recent LIVE where we talked about perspectives and trusting God’s good purposes in our life.

#beautyinthereal

A small clip from a recent LIVE where we talked about perspectives and trusting God’s good purposes in our life.

#beautyinthereal

Chatting about today’s autism announcement and how to find peace in all the notice and opinions. Sharing my own experiences and why I don’t have to walk in any guilt but only in hope for God’s good purposes.

Chatting about today’s autism announcement and how to find peace in all the notice and opinions. Sharing my own experiences and why I don’t have to walk in any guilt but only in hope for God’s good purposes.

Allow me to explain this conversation:
After growing up in church and loving it, Jonah began to struggle with things and no longer wanted to go to church. We really had no choice but to respect his decision and eventually found that he loved to sit in an empty church on a weekday and we love that he loves that.
But Jonah also has developed a severe attachment and co-dependence on me and seeks to control much of my time and preferences as well. Because we don’t have any programs or support staff, I have had to pick my battles and sometimes that gives him too much control.
As seasons change and capacity grows, we can tackle different issues. Recently, I decided it was time to tackle the church issue. The truth is that I have been going to church when I can but I don’t tell Jonah about that so it has maintained his illusion of control. It is this illusion that I am attempting to break. So this week, I told him that I would be going to a Saturday service at a local church. (Our home church only has Sunday services and there are more triggers for him with that so I felt this would be a better place to start). I knew that this would cause a high level of anxiety for him and it has.
To be clear, this is about reclaiming some of my autonomy. Church is just the issue I am choosing to battle over, partly because it is important to me but partly because, with my husband’s help, it is something that I can succeed in doing whether Jonah likes it or not. That doesn’t mean it is easy and I won’t lie, right now it doesn’t feel worth it. But I have to remember that I am playing the long game here and he needs to be able to detach from me for his own good, and for mine.
#beautyinthereal

Allow me to explain this conversation:
After growing up in church and loving it, Jonah began to struggle with things and no longer wanted to go to church. We really had no choice but to respect his decision and eventually found that he loved to sit in an empty church on a weekday and we love that he loves that.
But Jonah also has developed a severe attachment and co-dependence on me and seeks to control much of my time and preferences as well. Because we don’t have any programs or support staff, I have had to pick my battles and sometimes that gives him too much control.
As seasons change and capacity grows, we can tackle different issues. Recently, I decided it was time to tackle the church issue. The truth is that I have been going to church when I can but I don’t tell Jonah about that so it has maintained his illusion of control. It is this illusion that I am attempting to break. So this week, I told him that I would be going to a Saturday service at a local church. (Our home church only has Sunday services and there are more triggers for him with that so I felt this would be a better place to start). I knew that this would cause a high level of anxiety for him and it has.
To be clear, this is about reclaiming some of my autonomy. Church is just the issue I am choosing to battle over, partly because it is important to me but partly because, with my husband’s help, it is something that I can succeed in doing whether Jonah likes it or not. That doesn’t mean it is easy and I won’t lie, right now it doesn’t feel worth it. But I have to remember that I am playing the long game here and he needs to be able to detach from me for his own good, and for mine.
#beautyinthereal

Just a little Saturday afternoon chat about boundaries, endurance, church and a little Q & A. Thanks for hanging out with me!

Just a little Saturday afternoon chat about boundaries, endurance, church and a little Q & A. Thanks for hanging out with me!

It’s muggy and buggy and about to rain but it’s nearing the end of summer and Jonah needs to close out all the summer tabs open in his brain. It could be 80 degrees again in a couple weeks but that doesn’t matter…. The garden is coming out today. We pick our battles and this one just isn’t one worth fighting.

So happy “end of summer” to those who celebrate 😜

#beautyinthereal

It’s muggy and buggy and about to rain but it’s nearing the end of summer and Jonah needs to close out all the summer tabs open in his brain. It could be 80 degrees again in a couple weeks but that doesn’t matter…. The garden is coming out today. We pick our battles and this one just isn’t one worth fighting.

So happy “end of summer” to those who celebrate 😜

#beautyinthereal

A year ago this week, these guys walked into our house and into our life and brought with them the adventure of a lifetime!

When I first got an instagram message from some guy named Tommy, claiming to be from a tv show that wanted to feature Jonah and take us on vacation... I figured it must be a scam and almost deleted it. I am so glad I didn’t.

After lots of messages and zoom calls and meeting the team from Traveling The Spectrum and Workshop TV, we excitedly said YES. When the crew arrived at our house on a beautiful September day, we had no idea how amazing they would be and how much we would come to love them all! They filmed for a few days at our home and then scheduled our trip to Myrtle Beach, SC where we found a whole community of amazing people who not only accommodate Jonah but actually celebrated him!

Our family will be featured alongside a few others on Season 2 of Traveling the Spectrum on Peacock. (Release date pending) Season One is available to watch now and I highly recommend it.

If you love to see individuals with Autism be spotlighted in the most beautiful ways, go give them and follow and if you ever get a message saying that they want to feature your family, don’t delete that message!!! We have vetted them for you and wish every family could meet this crew of kind, hard working, talented people who want to tell the stories that open up the world for our special kiddos!

@theworkshoptv @travelingthespectrumshow
@jennaleighhottel
@juliedibucci @chris_prugh @tommycaamanodirector @pete_pro @macksmellman @igorkropotov @bernardog @tatymila2019 @britbeyondthespectrum
#beautyinthereal

A year ago this week, these guys walked into our house and into our life and brought with them the adventure of a lifetime!

When I first got an instagram message from some guy named Tommy, claiming to be from a tv show that wanted to feature Jonah and take us on vacation... I figured it must be a scam and almost deleted it. I am so glad I didn’t.

After lots of messages and zoom calls and meeting the team from Traveling The Spectrum and Workshop TV, we excitedly said YES. When the crew arrived at our house on a beautiful September day, we had no idea how amazing they would be and how much we would come to love them all! They filmed for a few days at our home and then scheduled our trip to Myrtle Beach, SC where we found a whole community of amazing people who not only accommodate Jonah but actually celebrated him!

Our family will be featured alongside a few others on Season 2 of Traveling the Spectrum on Peacock. (Release date pending) Season One is available to watch now and I highly recommend it.

If you love to see individuals with Autism be spotlighted in the most beautiful ways, go give them and follow and if you ever get a message saying that they want to feature your family, don’t delete that message!!! We have vetted them for you and wish every family could meet this crew of kind, hard working, talented people who want to tell the stories that open up the world for our special kiddos!

@theworkshoptv @travelingthespectrumshow
@jennaleighhottel
@juliedibucci @chris_prugh @tommycaamanodirector @pete_pro @macksmellman @igorkropotov @bernardog @tatymila2019 @britbeyondthespectrum
#beautyinthereal

It’s been a bit rough around here... Let me explain:
Last night we attempted to watch a family movie with Jonah downstairs on the big tv. Something about the movie was triggering for him so we had to turn it off. He now says that the “TV is JUNK” and has slated it for cancellation, removal... destruction! (Some of you know this MO well)

So this morning, I am avoiding taking Jonah downstairs... which is where the treadmill and weights are. I have worked so hard the last couple years to get stronger and regain mobility and since Jonah refuses to go for walks anymore, I am trying to prioritize working out in the house.

But this morning, that needs to happen upstairs. I tried bringing some weights up but that was upsetting for him because they “belong downstairs”. I got one round of the jump rope but then that had to go too. Thankfully I can rebound up here but it looks like any resistance training has to be “Body weight only”. Am I a little frustrated? YES.... but also even more determined because I need to be able to stay strong and maintain mobility for the sake of “future me” and “future Jonah”!

I am not looking for advice or critique on my form... I know it’s not perfect. I am just here to say,
DON’T GIVE UP”. Get creative and keep moving. Start where you are. 2 years ago I couldn’t do a single push up on my toes and couldn’t walk a block without needing ice and Advil afterwards. If that’s where you are, I understand because I’ve been there too!

I may need to switch up my routines and do my workouts at night after Jonah goes to bed. I may need to do workout videos, which I don’t love. I may need to do a lot of things differently and then change them up again and again... But I will and you can too!
#beautyinthereal

It’s been a bit rough around here... Let me explain:
Last night we attempted to watch a family movie with Jonah downstairs on the big tv. Something about the movie was triggering for him so we had to turn it off. He now says that the “TV is JUNK” and has slated it for cancellation, removal... destruction! (Some of you know this MO well)

So this morning, I am avoiding taking Jonah downstairs... which is where the treadmill and weights are. I have worked so hard the last couple years to get stronger and regain mobility and since Jonah refuses to go for walks anymore, I am trying to prioritize working out in the house.

But this morning, that needs to happen upstairs. I tried bringing some weights up but that was upsetting for him because they “belong downstairs”. I got one round of the jump rope but then that had to go too. Thankfully I can rebound up here but it looks like any resistance training has to be “Body weight only”. Am I a little frustrated? YES.... but also even more determined because I need to be able to stay strong and maintain mobility for the sake of “future me” and “future Jonah”!

I am not looking for advice or critique on my form... I know it’s not perfect. I am just here to say,
DON’T GIVE UP”. Get creative and keep moving. Start where you are. 2 years ago I couldn’t do a single push up on my toes and couldn’t walk a block without needing ice and Advil afterwards. If that’s where you are, I understand because I’ve been there too!

I may need to switch up my routines and do my workouts at night after Jonah goes to bed. I may need to do workout videos, which I don’t love. I may need to do a lot of things differently and then change them up again and again... But I will and you can too!
#beautyinthereal

Happy Sunday… hope you get to go to church today but if not, I hope you will choose to worship wherever you are.

Thank you @cecewinans for leading us to the throne room, right there in the car.
#beautyinthereal

Happy Sunday… hope you get to go to church today but if not, I hope you will choose to worship wherever you are.

Thank you @cecewinans for leading us to the throne room, right there in the car.
#beautyinthereal

Sometimes autism looks like this and sometimes an empty church is the best place to encounter the living, loving presence of God.

#beautyinthereal

Sometimes autism looks like this and sometimes an empty church is the best place to encounter the living, loving presence of God.

#beautyinthereal

Yeah. We moved a lot 😜
And Jonah loves to script all the dates and years and location that we lived.
It’s cute, but it can also go on for hours which can make mama a little crazy 😜
Also, we live in Minnesota now 😳#beautyinthereal

Yeah. We moved a lot 😜
And Jonah loves to script all the dates and years and location that we lived.
It’s cute, but it can also go on for hours which can make mama a little crazy 😜
Also, we live in Minnesota now 😳#beautyinthereal

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll, some classical sometimes and a whole lot of Jesus…. Jonah sets the music and the mood most days but Jesus covers it all with grace…
Which song is your fave??? 👇🏻

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll, some classical sometimes and a whole lot of Jesus…. Jonah sets the music and the mood most days but Jesus covers it all with grace…
Which song is your fave??? 👇🏻

Seasonal changes and answering all your questions. Thanks for hanging out with me today! 😘

Seasonal changes and answering all your questions. Thanks for hanging out with me today! 😘

The views from August….
#beautyinthereal

The views from August….
#beautyinthereal

Every week they jump in the car and head to exotic destinations like.... Baxter... or Hutchingson or sometimes even Litchfeild. They bravely walk into unknown diners for a weekly treat of pizza or grilled cheese sandwiches and top it off with a scoop of ice cream.

It’s brave because you never know who will be there or what might be missing from the menu that day and the effects of Autism can feel pretty big in some of those scenarios. Thankfully, “Minnesota Nice” works in our favor and people are usually polite.

My husband started doing this a few years ago when I expressed my frustration with the isolation and lack of freedom that I was feeling. As a full time caregiver for our adult son who is profoundly affected by autism, I was recognizing some resentment building in my heart. We came up with a plan that included 2 time slots every week so that I could have a break and I am so thankful for a partner who has been willing to support me in that way.

As they headed out for lunch the other day, my thoughts drifted to my own father who takes my sister out to lunch once a week. I have admired him for many years and the way that he faithfully and consistently shows up for her. I smiled as I realized that my son will have that same faithfulness from his father and it is a precious gift for him, and for me!

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsfamily #sometimesautismlookslikethis #specialneedsparenting #specialneedsdad

Every week they jump in the car and head to exotic destinations like.... Baxter... or Hutchingson or sometimes even Litchfeild. They bravely walk into unknown diners for a weekly treat of pizza or grilled cheese sandwiches and top it off with a scoop of ice cream.

It’s brave because you never know who will be there or what might be missing from the menu that day and the effects of Autism can feel pretty big in some of those scenarios. Thankfully, “Minnesota Nice” works in our favor and people are usually polite.

My husband started doing this a few years ago when I expressed my frustration with the isolation and lack of freedom that I was feeling. As a full time caregiver for our adult son who is profoundly affected by autism, I was recognizing some resentment building in my heart. We came up with a plan that included 2 time slots every week so that I could have a break and I am so thankful for a partner who has been willing to support me in that way.

As they headed out for lunch the other day, my thoughts drifted to my own father who takes my sister out to lunch once a week. I have admired him for many years and the way that he faithfully and consistently shows up for her. I smiled as I realized that my son will have that same faithfulness from his father and it is a precious gift for him, and for me!

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsfamily #sometimesautismlookslikethis #specialneedsparenting #specialneedsdad

Change will happen and we don’t get to stay the same through the seasons and chapters….

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsfamily #caregiving

Change will happen and we don’t get to stay the same through the seasons and chapters….

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsfamily #caregiving

Some days his feelings of frustration can seem overwhelming and his ability to communicate it and work through them is limited to scrips and echolalia. I have learned over the years, how vital it is that I stay calm and keep my own nervous system regulated. After this exchange I suggested we drive to a local park and go for a walk… sometimes a change of surroundings can help us to move on. This exchange is 100 times better than it used to be and I am thankful for progress. If you are still in the chapter where things get broken and people get hurt and everything feels hopeless… hold on my friends. Seasons change, pages turn and our kids really do grow and learn.
#beautyinthereal

Some days his feelings of frustration can seem overwhelming and his ability to communicate it and work through them is limited to scrips and echolalia. I have learned over the years, how vital it is that I stay calm and keep my own nervous system regulated. After this exchange I suggested we drive to a local park and go for a walk… sometimes a change of surroundings can help us to move on. This exchange is 100 times better than it used to be and I am thankful for progress. If you are still in the chapter where things get broken and people get hurt and everything feels hopeless… hold on my friends. Seasons change, pages turn and our kids really do grow and learn.
#beautyinthereal

There are about 17 years between these two photos. I remember taking the first one—steeped in worry about his future, wondering if he would ever learn to communicate his wants and needs, and praying for a light at the end of our tunnel.

Since then, I’ve learned so much. The path did get brighter… and then darker… and sometimes even pitch black. Our story has had its ebb and flow—beautiful moments and painful ones, trauma and healing, confusion and clarity.

The pages keep turning, the chapters keep evolving, and many times we’ve lived a story I never would have chosen. I’m not the one writing this story, but over the years I’ve become convinced that God really does work all things together for our good. He sees what we cannot see, and He is shaping in me a purpose that will prevail.

Yesterday we stopped in that same tunnel and took another photo. We noticed a caterpillar, remembered visits from when he was little, and he even recited a favorite Bible verse. His ability to communicate has grown so much in recent years.

He’s 23 now. Still profoundly affected by autism. Still in need of lifelong care. But this chapter feels lighter than the last—we’re catching our breath and building our strength for whatever the next chapter holds. I don’t worry about the future as much anymore, because I know who holds the pen. He is the God who sees us, carries us, and promises to sustain us.

#beautyinthereal #sometimesautismlookslikethis

There are about 17 years between these two photos. I remember taking the first one—steeped in worry about his future, wondering if he would ever learn to communicate his wants and needs, and praying for a light at the end of our tunnel.

Since then, I’ve learned so much. The path did get brighter… and then darker… and sometimes even pitch black. Our story has had its ebb and flow—beautiful moments and painful ones, trauma and healing, confusion and clarity.

The pages keep turning, the chapters keep evolving, and many times we’ve lived a story I never would have chosen. I’m not the one writing this story, but over the years I’ve become convinced that God really does work all things together for our good. He sees what we cannot see, and He is shaping in me a purpose that will prevail.

Yesterday we stopped in that same tunnel and took another photo. We noticed a caterpillar, remembered visits from when he was little, and he even recited a favorite Bible verse. His ability to communicate has grown so much in recent years.

He’s 23 now. Still profoundly affected by autism. Still in need of lifelong care. But this chapter feels lighter than the last—we’re catching our breath and building our strength for whatever the next chapter holds. I don’t worry about the future as much anymore, because I know who holds the pen. He is the God who sees us, carries us, and promises to sustain us.

#beautyinthereal #sometimesautismlookslikethis

In this world of social media, I’m often reminded of how differently people see me. Some will say I look light and happy, while others tell me they notice the grief in my eyes. Both are true.

Life in our home can shift in an instant—from laughter that fills the air to tears that fall without warning. One moment I’m proud and grateful, the next I’m sweeping up broken glass. There are also heavy burdens I carry quietly, stories that aren’t always mine to share but that still weigh on my heart. Over time, I’ve learned not to wear every feeling on the outside. Many of them I keep tucked away, not because they aren’t real, but because they’re tender things I process in quiet places and in safe company.

But joy—joy is different.
Joy is not dependent on how the day goes or how the story ends. Joy comes when I lift my gaze beyond the circumstances of right now and set my eyes on eternal truth, on a Love that never fails. Joy has the power to sit beside tears, to hold space in grief, even to shine through the mess of broken glass.

Joy cannot be shaken when it is anchored in Jesus.
And it is my deepest hope that when you see me—whether smiling or weary—it’s joy that reaches you. A joy that points you back to Him.

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsmom #specialneedsfamily

In this world of social media, I’m often reminded of how differently people see me. Some will say I look light and happy, while others tell me they notice the grief in my eyes. Both are true.

Life in our home can shift in an instant—from laughter that fills the air to tears that fall without warning. One moment I’m proud and grateful, the next I’m sweeping up broken glass. There are also heavy burdens I carry quietly, stories that aren’t always mine to share but that still weigh on my heart. Over time, I’ve learned not to wear every feeling on the outside. Many of them I keep tucked away, not because they aren’t real, but because they’re tender things I process in quiet places and in safe company.

But joy—joy is different.
Joy is not dependent on how the day goes or how the story ends. Joy comes when I lift my gaze beyond the circumstances of right now and set my eyes on eternal truth, on a Love that never fails. Joy has the power to sit beside tears, to hold space in grief, even to shine through the mess of broken glass.

Joy cannot be shaken when it is anchored in Jesus.
And it is my deepest hope that when you see me—whether smiling or weary—it’s joy that reaches you. A joy that points you back to Him.

#beautyinthereal #specialneedsmom #specialneedsfamily

If I’m being honest, sometimes I feel a little jealous around this time of year.
I am watching so many of you sweet mamas send your kids off to the first day of school — and I know that it is it’s own special kind of stress, especially if your child has a disability but I find myself missing the structure and support that school provided.

My son is 23 and autistic and He graduated 5 years ago. We tried a couple of day programs but due to his unique needs and some disruptive behaviors, they decided they could no longer service him. The whole experience was so traumatizing that he has no desire to ever try again... so for now he is home with me full time, all the time... and the weight of finding meaningful ways to fill his day... while surrendering all the ways of I would have liked to fill mine, it is crushing sometimes.

I don’t share this because I need sympathy or advice, I share it because if you are a mom who has become a full time caregiver, I want you to know that I see you... But even more important, God sees you. I am so grateful that I don’t have to try to hide my true feelings from my heavenly father.... I can pour out the ugly truth of them knowing that he bottles every tear and forgives my moments of weakness, doubt and envy. And He promises to give us strength for today and new mercies every morning.
#beautyinthereal

If I’m being honest, sometimes I feel a little jealous around this time of year.
I am watching so many of you sweet mamas send your kids off to the first day of school — and I know that it is it’s own special kind of stress, especially if your child has a disability but I find myself missing the structure and support that school provided.

My son is 23 and autistic and He graduated 5 years ago. We tried a couple of day programs but due to his unique needs and some disruptive behaviors, they decided they could no longer service him. The whole experience was so traumatizing that he has no desire to ever try again... so for now he is home with me full time, all the time... and the weight of finding meaningful ways to fill his day... while surrendering all the ways of I would have liked to fill mine, it is crushing sometimes.

I don’t share this because I need sympathy or advice, I share it because if you are a mom who has become a full time caregiver, I want you to know that I see you... But even more important, God sees you. I am so grateful that I don’t have to try to hide my true feelings from my heavenly father.... I can pour out the ugly truth of them knowing that he bottles every tear and forgives my moments of weakness, doubt and envy. And He promises to give us strength for today and new mercies every morning.
#beautyinthereal

I am 55 and he is 23 years old, but as his full-time-all-the-time caregiver and mom, I want to be forever young! It is a sentiment that is often expressed by special needs moms because the question of “what happens to our kids when we are gone?” is one of our greatest worries.

I believe that our days are numbered by the Lord from the foundation of the earth and that we cannot die until God has ordained it but we also can’t live once he has called us home. I do, however, believe that the manner in which we live out those days, is affected by the choices we make.

I am not here to pitch any pills or potions or to give you a 3 step sure fire way to stay healthy because, like our kids are on a spectrum, so are we. Health is not a one size fits all so you will have to find your own path.... But for the love of our kids..... Find that path. Try and then try again, grow and learn from your failures, ask for support where you need it and if there is none to be found, find a way to move your body anyway. Choose to fuel it as best as you can. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to keep trying.

The days and the years are barreling past you and it will never get any easier than it is today. I know you have had to be strong in so many ways and it feels unfair that this is on you too.... I know that our life is already so uncomfortable so it is tempting to choose the path of least resistance. But our kids are going to need us to be strong for a long time and I promise you that when they tower over you, the muscle and mobility you build now will help you to stay younger longer... not forever but maybe just long enough.
#beautyinthereal #caregiver #autism

I am 55 and he is 23 years old, but as his full-time-all-the-time caregiver and mom, I want to be forever young! It is a sentiment that is often expressed by special needs moms because the question of “what happens to our kids when we are gone?” is one of our greatest worries.

I believe that our days are numbered by the Lord from the foundation of the earth and that we cannot die until God has ordained it but we also can’t live once he has called us home. I do, however, believe that the manner in which we live out those days, is affected by the choices we make.

I am not here to pitch any pills or potions or to give you a 3 step sure fire way to stay healthy because, like our kids are on a spectrum, so are we. Health is not a one size fits all so you will have to find your own path.... But for the love of our kids..... Find that path. Try and then try again, grow and learn from your failures, ask for support where you need it and if there is none to be found, find a way to move your body anyway. Choose to fuel it as best as you can. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to keep trying.

The days and the years are barreling past you and it will never get any easier than it is today. I know you have had to be strong in so many ways and it feels unfair that this is on you too.... I know that our life is already so uncomfortable so it is tempting to choose the path of least resistance. But our kids are going to need us to be strong for a long time and I promise you that when they tower over you, the muscle and mobility you build now will help you to stay younger longer... not forever but maybe just long enough.
#beautyinthereal #caregiver #autism

Yes, he is verbal, but verbalizing how he feels or what he really wants can be near impossible at times. We have learned, over the years how to prompt him and work through big feelings so we can move on. Full confessions, it doesn’t always work. For years I was providing both the questions and the answers. But over time he has learned the language of feeling and I am still hopeful that someday he will be able to share more of his heart with us, even in the hard moments… especially in the hard moments.

He was tense for a while but we did go on with our day without breaking anything or hurting anyone and in our house that is a huge win.

I will miss our morning walks and I am grieving the loss of that for both of us but it’s ok. His words and his feelings matter and our daily habits have to reflect that.

#beautyinthereal #autism

Yes, he is verbal, but verbalizing how he feels or what he really wants can be near impossible at times. We have learned, over the years how to prompt him and work through big feelings so we can move on. Full confessions, it doesn’t always work. For years I was providing both the questions and the answers. But over time he has learned the language of feeling and I am still hopeful that someday he will be able to share more of his heart with us, even in the hard moments… especially in the hard moments.

He was tense for a while but we did go on with our day without breaking anything or hurting anyone and in our house that is a huge win.

I will miss our morning walks and I am grieving the loss of that for both of us but it’s ok. His words and his feelings matter and our daily habits have to reflect that.

#beautyinthereal #autism

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